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All things Linux and GNU/Linux -- this is neither a community exclusively about the kernel Linux, nor is exclusively about the GNU operating system.
Linux Action Show is the world's largest and longest running Linux-based podcast. Jupiter Broadcasting is the home of many fantastic online shows. Like Linux Action Show, Coder Radio, Linux Unplugged, TechSNAP, Unfilter, SciByte, FauxShow & more!
For enthusiasts of Ubuntu MATE, Ubuntu's retrospective distro.
I've submitted about a dozen short stories to independent journals through Submittable and next month my first accepted piece will run in a journal called Scribble. What really made me feel like a grown up was to withdraw a few submissions from other places that were still considering my flash fiction piece. I've had this news for about two months, and reflect on it when the daily humdrums get me down. Part of me wants to splash my piece on this page to share, but I suspect that's a bad idea. Maybe I'll post a link next month. Part of me is concerned co-workers or my town mates will notice and connect the work to me and cause some sort of unforeseen trouble. Likely, no one will notice, I've clung to this notion that writing is about creating a sizeable body of work along the lines of tossing 100 darts; one of them is bound to stick.
Anyways, cheers to the joys of getting published.
So just to give everyone some background.
I got together with my first girlfriend when we were 14 and we instantly connected and fell in love hard and fast. We ending up being together right through school despite the constant efforts of high school drama trying to get to us and I broke up with her 4 and 1/2 years into our relationship. When I was 19 and she was 19.
I tell myself the reason why I broke up with her after all those years was because she was moving cities to go study and I had some trust issues in our relationship due to things she did in the past like lie to me on a few occasions. I also did not want to hold her back as I knew how jealous and protective we both got of one another and I didn’t think it was fair on either of us. I told my ex that I had fell out of love and that’s why I wanted to break up, that wasn’t true.
But I ended it anyway.
I was heart broken in myself, no where near as much as she was I’m sure, but regardless I tried to move on.
My family ended up resenting me for suddenly ending it without speaking to anyone so I was alone and had no one to talk to for a few months about it after the break up.
I was full time working in the last year of our relationship so I had some work mates, 1 of which was one of my managers [23F at the time, now 27F] and we ended up connecting and becoming close.
I was able to talk to her and some of my other colleagues about my relationship and realised it might not have been as happy and jolly as I thought it was. For multiple reasons, but the biggest one being I got used for my money and bought her A LOT of stuff that she asked me directly for and would get emotionally manipulated if I said no.
But anyway, I ended up dating my manager and we were pretty casual at first but it quickly escalated into something more. I learnt pretty quick that I fall in love fast. Not that that’s a bad thing.
The manager and I are still together (going on 4 years) and we are very happy, yeah we have our issues every once and while but she’s made me a better person and made me truly realise my potential. Ever since the start of our relationship I every once and a while think about my ex.
I did recently learn that my ex and her new partner bought a house together (I think they’ve been together for about 3 years?) it didn’t really hurt me at all and moved on. But I think this has something to do with it.
I have recently started dreaming about her though, hence why I’m writing.
The dreams haven’t been anything sexual, more just us conversing and laughing and occasionally touching but these dreams have happened the past 3 nights and happened a couple times last week.
I don’t really know what to do, I told my current partner when it happened the first time and she said it’s nothing to worry about as I can’t control my dreams but now it has happened multiple times.
I’m not to sure what to do here, like I mentioned I am happy in my current relationship and want this to work but I just can’t seem to get my ex off of my mind.
Would appreciate any help.
TLDR: I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 and 1/2 years because she was moving cities, and I moved on pretty quickly into my now current relationship but have been having dreams about my ex.
I’m looking to use TiViMate on 3 firesticks with one subscription. I will only be watching one at a time, but don’t want to move to this app if it plays in the background when the tv that it is plugged into is turned off. Using the backgrounder app on the firestick it does not appear to be running when you click off it, but thought I would ask to be sure.
A mate of mine hasn't played it yet and I haven't spoiled anything for him and I'm dying to know what he thinks of it once he starts playing it.
Has any of you experienced any of this yet?
For those that leave before the game starts because they hate the map, fine. But the thing that can really destroy game after game if one want to relax with some casual after a work-day is the constant team-mates leaving after 1-2 rounds, or having to join a game because people left after 1-2 rounds.
If a player is rage-quitting, it only makes sense that they will put in cooldown mode for a few minutes. The teammates in the next game they would join into would also appreciate it. And maybe it will stop some of the selfish quits we see from some slices of the player base.
He’s taking his time to pay and idk if I need to give him one slap to let him know just cos we’re mates don’t mean he can take time I want my money back but at the same time I’m not in need of it and he’s a friend what shall I do?
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
I think I've killed them.
That's all that is running through my head right now. I've killed them.
I've killed them.
I've fucking killed them.
No, I can't think like that. I have to stay positive.
It's so fucking hard to stay positive right now.
As much as I want to tell you what's going on right at this moment, I have to go back days from now, before everything exploded. Before I lost both myself and my friends. I have to write all of this down so I can register it fully, and accept it. I have to accept it. Because right now I can't. I've tried writing this so many times, but my head is so fucking foggy, and my thoughts feel like candy floss. The phone's screen is so bright and it hurts my eyes. I have to concentrate. That's what I keep telling myself. I have to breathe. Just keep breathing. It's not like I'm hiding anything anymore. They know I'm sober. They know I'm awake, and it's only a matter of time before they come for me too; do the same thing to me. Oh god, they're going to kill me. I'm going to die.
Maybe I deserve it, though. After all, I think I've killed their biggest stars.
I'm going to start from when I last updated you. Once again, I have no recollection of how many days I've lost. James took them from me. I want to check it myself, but part of me would rather stay ignorant. All I know is that it is sunny outside. The sky is blue, and the trees are golden brown. Fall. My favourite season. It feels weird to remember that. That I have a favourite season. Katie's favourite is Summer. She likes to go to the lake with her friends, and swim in the river. I know more about my character than I know myself, and every second that goes by I feel like I've been tipped upside down and emptied of everything I am. So, I'm going to remind myself before it's too late.
My name is Robin Harley.
At least, that's how you know me. I wrote my real name before this one, because it feels like it is fading, along with everything I am. But I know who I am. My favourite book is Kafka On the Shore. My favourite food is chicken alfredo. I have a dog called Julia, and I'm terrified of the dark. Such small things, like a kid making a list. This is easier for me, though. I must remember who I am, before it's taken away. For James I must be Katie, and for you, I'm Robin. I miss being called by my real name. My mother named me after her favourite flower. I grew up thinking it was a stupid name. I wanted to be called a pretty name like Holly or Charlotte. My friends often asked me why my name was spelled the way it was, and how to pronounce it. As a kid, I had been mortified. But as I grew up, I began to love my name, treasure what it meant to my mom to call me it.
I didn't think something as simple as a name, an identity, could be snatched so cruelly. But it has. I almost feel like I'm writing a story. Like we're just characters in someone's coerced reality. That's ironic, considering the plan our network has for us. I'm nothing but a puppet in James's sick game. I'm a shell for Katie Parker, and everything that is me, that is [REDACTED]
he plans to eradicate, like it's that easy. Like taking away who I am, my consciousness is like child's play.
It's the blood stains that I can't stop thinking about. So much blood, so much life draining away like it was nothing. LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING. LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm not making sense. I can't make sense right now, even as I read while I type, I might as well be reading hieroglyphics. The floor underneath my feet feels like liquid when I stand on it. There is blood on Rory's bed. It's only a little bit, a smear of crimson staining light pink pillow cases. But it's twisting my stomach. My chest is aching. Every time I look at his bed, I want to scream. I want to scream until my throat is fucking raw, until my lungs have collapsed. It's Noah all over again, but at that point, Noah survived. I didn't think he would, after seeing his body convulsing in front of me, flickering eyes still glued to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck bleeding through ancient static. I'll never forget the way his head had dropped limply, bouncing on his chest like a puppet severed from their strings. His fingers, which had been frantically tapping out Morse code had gone still. Everything that was him, that was Noah, had gone still, and for one heart-stopping moment I thought I'd lost him.
I didn't lose him. You already know that.
Thanks to Derek Marley's confession, I know now that they weren't trying to kill Noah. Instead, they were using his body like a host, as if his character was a parasite. I've gone through the stages in my head so many times I know them off by heart. James's voice still crackling through static on each video clip still haunts my thoughts, as if the man himself was burrowing his way into my mind, forcing himself inside every piece of me.
Stage 1: Empty out.
Stage 2: Programming.
Stage 3: Insertion.
I thought I could still save Noah. I could save Rory, and Izzie and Lana.
I thought I could save them.
I thought I could save them.
The blood on Rory's sheets makes me sick, and I can't stop thinking about them.
I can't stop THINKING ABOUT THEM.
I'll get to that. Because I'm here to tell our story, in what I hope is some kind of cohesive, even if it's a seemingly never-ending stream of consciousness which does not make sense. I'm sorry about that. I don't cut out what I write. I leave everything in, because I want to look back at this at some point, if I get out of this hell-hole. I want to re-read everything that took place. Every thought I had, even if it makes the least lick of sense. Every emotion I've felt, I want to feel it again. I want to torture myself again, but I know I'll never feel the way I'm feeling right now. Numb. Nothing. I feel nothing. Maybe I am Katie. Maybe James forced her into me during my daze where the days bled together, the pitch dark and sunlight colliding, but my thoughts weren't mine. And when they were, when clarity took over, I struggled to understand why I was so fucking numb. Why I couldn't cry. Why I'd stripped Rory's bed of his covers, and thrown them in the wardrobe. Why I sat against it for what felt like oblivion, with my back against cool, hard wood, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open it again.
I couldn't look inside.
Because I would break apart all over again.
Now my head is clear, I know why. The sun is less of a confusing haze, and I can think a little clearer . So, I'm going to do what I always do; since I found you. Now that my mind is clear, I'm going to stop thinking about the wardrobe, and instead lose myself in you.
Inside this stupid phone which isn't even mine. It hasn't got my pastel blue phone case, and the lock-screen of me and my mother standing under a maple tree in Japan. It has none of that. Not my Apple playlist or my Instagram page. My endless collection of notes which is just shopping lists, or casting calls, or snippets of poems that come to me, and mom just a text or phone call away. My phone is gone. Except this phone feels like mine, even if there's none of my personality, a total blank. I've kept it hidden for so long, a secret under my mattress. The one thing stopping me from losing my mind.
I'm going to write to you, and leave nothing out. I'm going to tell you everything in as much detail as possible, despite my shaking hands and concaving stomach.
Writing to you is my outlet. I know not many are reading, and that most of you are sceptical, but I'm truly grateful for each and every comment you leave. Thank you for translating Noah's message. Thank you for telling me what was in the shot in Derek's office. Without you, I would have crumbled my now. So if you're reading, I beg of you, please keep going. If you have to, tear apart everything I say. Take notice of hints that I leave, like places that I have to blank out. Because you're my only hope right now. You're my only connection to the real world, to a reality I've been taken away from.
So please don't give up on me. Tell me you understand. Tell me you want some kind of update. Because you are all I have.
I say this, because once again, I need your help. Hopefully for the last time.
The last time I updated you, I'd made what I thought was the biggest mistake of my life. slamming Rory over the head with a table lamp. He had gone limp, falling back, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. I took your advice and did not use the shot. I didn't know what it would do to him, especially if he had some kind of brain or head injury. Instead of doing what my heart was screaming at me to do, I slammed the door shut and removed the book. Guards, I thought hysterically. There were too many guards, and I would never leave the others. I felt selfish. Wrong. Like my heart had ben ripped out of my chest. But I held myself, and I stayed with Rory all night, waiting for him to wake up.
Except he didn't, and the more time progressed, the glaring red letters on my bedside clock flickering later and later, the sick feeling in my gut worsened.
"Rory." I felt like I was on fire, climbing onto his bed and lifting his head onto my lap. I felt for bumps and bruises, but mostly blood. I checked the pillow and sheets, but they were clean. He was breathing. I kept telling myself that, pressing my hand against his chest. He didn't move. His body stayed flaccid, draped against me. He was freezing cold, so I bundled him under the blankets. Laying next to him, my mind screamed at me to do something. Tell James. I was at war with myself. If Rory really was hurt and needed medical attention, I was killing him to save myself. So I didn't get caught.
Did I care more about my castmate, or being caught sober? Especially if Rory was just knocked out. That thought haunted me well into the midnight hours. I fell in and out of sleep, but I didn't dream. I was too panicked to relax and allow my mind some kind of peace. I couldn't. I was drifting off to sleep for what felt like the tenth time, when something...snapped. At least, that's what it sounded like. I shot up, disoriented, and quickly realised that the same buzzing, the same noise of a swarm of bees, was slicing into the silence I'd found myself wrapped in. My attention went straight to Rory, and sure enough, it was coming from him. But something was... different. The first time I'd heard it, the sound was like prickling electricity or the erratic wings of an insect.
But this time it sounded like popping. Like something was snapping, crackling inside my friend's head. Slowly, I slipped off of Rory's bed and checked him once more. Still no movement. His eyes were still shut. His breathing was still normal.
Knowing what was inside Rory, I knew the sound must have been the chip, what James had inserted into his eye. It was his character, the parasitic Mac Price. Briefly, I thought about attempting to get it out with the scalpel I'd hidden under my bed. But I could blind him. With one wrong move, I could blind him. So, I crawled back into my own bed and buried my head in pillows that smelled of lavender. It reminded me of home.
I don't know how long I slept for. All I remember is being woken by a flock of birds screeching outside. As soon as I brushed off slumber, reality hit me hard.
The room was quiet, and my heart sank into my gut. I twisted around in bed, expecting to see my castmate still draped over sickly yellow covers, eyes shut.
The first thing I noticed was Rory's bed was empty. The covers and pillows were on the ground, and when I frantically searched for him, I found him.
Rory was standing in the same stance, straight shoulders, arms by his side. He was staring forward, that familiar vacant look splayed across his expression. He was already dressed in Mac attire; a short sleeved shirt and jeans. The early morning sun was streaming through the blinds, setting strands of his brown hair alight. His eyes were wide, earthy brown, a wrinkle between his brows. At that moment, I took a snapshot in my mind. If James was going to turn me into Katie, then I was going to remember him.
I was going to remember myself. When I happened to look into the reflection of James's glasses when he was leaning close, I glimpsed a girl who was far too thin, malnutrition transforming once healthy cheeks to ashen white. I saw tired eyes staring back, vacant and foggy with the phantom drug I was swallowing every day. I saw mousy blonde hair which used to be plastered across magazine stands, beauty magazines and teen Vogue. It seemed crazy that that girl was me. The girl who played Katie Parker. Because underneath the preppy blonde ponytail and face of makeup, there was me. It made me wonder. Did people see it? Did the public know, or did they look past all of that, to see their favourite character? Is that all I was to them?
Fucking Katie Parker.
I didn't know what to think, whether to be relieved that I hadn't seriously hurt Rory, or frustrated that he was still under James's control. I was speechless, my mouth opening and closing, words choking my throat. I wanted to say so much, but all I really wanted to do was bury my head in his shoulders and sob until my chest was aching. Before I could open my mouth, or move, there was the sound of familiar footsteps approaching our room, and I dived up, practically throwing myself beside Rory, slipping back into my façade. Standing shoulder to shoulder as usual, we waited for James. But when the door opened, and the writer walked in with his usual wide smile and twinkling eyes, I could have sworn Rory had flinched ever so slightly. It wasn't noticeable, at least not to James.
But to me, I felt it. I felt the tremor that ran through him, his shoulder bouncing against mine. Something inside me ignited, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I had hope; hope that braining Rory with the lamp had knocked out the chip connected to his iris. Except at that moment I refused to get properly hopeful. No way. I had to keep my façade. Even if all I wanted to do was turn to Rory, and demand if he was himself. If he was like me, awake and aware, struggling to hide behind a character.
Instead, I played along as usual. We were given the pill, which I had mastered the art of hiding behind my bottom teeth. I swallowed with emphasis and opened my mouth so James could lean in. He did, the glint in his eyes sending ice sliding down my spine.
"Kids." He addressed us, spreading his arms in a greeting. "How did you like last night? Did you enjoy your late night entertainment?"
Something struck me, like a knife stabbing into my back. The TV, I thought, struggling to stay completely immobile. But at the corner of my eye, it was back to where James had originally placed it, the ancient screen facing forwards, instead of towards the wall where I had shoved it. James seemed none the wiser, and I allowed myself to let out a breath. As usual, Rory and I didn't reply. James carried the usual, a brown paper bag full of breakfast sandwiches and two plastic white cups of water.
"Robin." James nodded at me. "You look like you're making progress!" He winked. "Perhaps I should take you for a consultation after today's shoot. How does that sound, hmm?"
I didn't move, keeping my gaze glued to him, waiting for him to look away, mentally begging the bastard to get distracted. Derek's confession was still on my mind, and what the network and James had collectively done to my castmates. And that I was next.
TBD. To be determined. I had to fight back a shiver.
Struck with the sudden overwhelming urge to scratch at my right eye, beads of sweat slipped down the back of my neck. James cocked his head and chuckled when I only stared back, just like he wanted. He was used to this, used to my body working the way he wanted, twisting and turning the way he wanted, my submissive eyes drinking him in, and nothing coming out of my mouth. I could practically see the glee lighting up his eyes every time I was forced to stand like a soldier, awaiting orders from his smug mouth.
"Huh." The writer hummed, pinching my chin. "I'll take that as a yes, sweetheart."
Staying still, I forced myself not to breathe. James moved onto Rory, and handed the pill to my castmate. "Mr Gallagher!" He beamed. "I'm pleased to tell you that you will be entering stage four today. Along with Mr Keaton, as well as Miss Faraday and Bright."
Bile slithered up my throat, but I still didn't move, my gaze falling to the carpet, burning into each fibre. I wanted to scream, but the words wouldn't come out. James's words felt like lightning bolts. They were going ahead with stage four with Rory, Noah, Lana and Izzie, and I couldn't stop it. The Writer's words had not left my head, still alive in my skull, prodding and poking until I couldn't bear it. The complete removal of consciousness, James had said. Which was them. Whatever was left of my friends, what hadn't already been purged from them, tearing them from themselves, those last flickers of what I loved. He was going to take it away. James was going to take it away forever.
And what would be left: nothing. Just a shell, a pretty face for their character.
I'd heard James loud and clear. "Give him a few weeks to settle in, and then we can move onto the final stage. Complete removal of lingering consciousness. Of course, we can replicate the young man's personality easily for press days and of course the fans. That will be easy. There will be no need for the boy. He will be disposed of, do you understand me?"
Disposed of. My ears were roaring. How was James planning on disposing on them? What did that even mean? His words were cutting deep. I felt sick. No, I was going to be sick. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, and my legs were ready to give-way.
Mac's all-too-familiar American twang sliced cleanly through my thoughts.
My head snapped up. For a disorienting moment I forgot I was supposed to be keeping behind a façade, and a hysterical bubble of laughter climbed its way up my throat. I hadn't laughed in so long, and it almost felt alien to me, but I managed to swallow it down. Rory's expression was still blank, still vacant, but the crease between his brows had grown. His lip was slightly curled into what might have been a frown.
He looked... confused. Which at that point, it was better than nothing.
James's expression had twisted in a flash, his eyes slitting, lips twisting into a scowl. He was still holding the pill out to the boy, who wasn't taking it, his arms staying by his sides. The writer cleared his throat, composing himself despite being rattled.
"I'm sorry, what was that, Mr Gallagher?"
I risked keeping my gaze on Rory, and everything inside me was begging, screaming at him to lash out, teeth gritted, eyes blazing. Rory didn't do that, however. He seemed to flinch again, but this time it was noticeable. His whole body shuddered, his eyes flickering, before his right arm jolted, and he reached out and took the pill.
Maybe I was imagining it, but it was like Rory was glitching.
"Mr Gallagher?" Stepping forward, James watched Rory pop the pill into his mouth. My castmate's expression had gone blank once more, but his arm was still trembling, pressed against mine. Rory swallowed the pill and opened his mouth on order, before the writer pulled out a small hand-held torch. He clicked it on, motioning Rory towards him.
Rory complied, and let James shine the light in his eyes. He didn't even wince. James checked both eyes, leaning in close. "Huh." James clucked his tongue. "Perhaps you had some kind of momentary malfunction," He grabbed my castmate's bare arms and squeezed them, beaming. "Don't you worry, young man. Once the final stage is complete, there will be nothing to interfere with the programming. The original consciousness will be completely removed, which will of course be a relief for the two of us."
James's words didn't sink in. I didn't let them. If I did, I'd shatter there and then, and James would catch me out. So I didn't move. I didn't breathe, and blinked back the sting in my eyes.
"Understand?" James motioned for Rory to nod, and my castmate did, his arms falling limply back to his sides.
"Wonderful!" The writer started to go through the same old routine, briefing us on our schedules, as well as lecturing us on being on our best behaviour, despite knowing the two of us were under the influence of a mind altering pill, as well as a microchip forcing our characters inside our heads. I mostly tuned out, trying to think of a way to save the others from what I was sure was a fate worse than death. Derek Marley had said that participating in the project would haunt him forever. His last message to Noah was sincere, but he was right. Noah would never forgive him. None of us would.
I had to get them out.
James's voice faded into white noise, until he reached the door, and turned to the two of us. "Eat and get ready for the day, please. I want things to go smoothly, so make sure to be good kids." He chuckled and then winked. "Mr Gallagher, I'll see you after the shoot."
The writer gave me a dismissive wave. "Miss Harley, a guard will pick you up as usual and take you home, since I will be quite busy."
Nodding, as if he was reassuring himself everything was going to be just fine, James hurried out, whistling some old Disney song that I vaguely recognised.
When the door slammed shut, I let my breath go, dropping to my knees. Spitting the pill out, I swallowed hot bile in my throat, willing myself not to hurl. Hot tears were spilling down my cheeks and I couldn't stop them, no matter what I did. The severity of the situation came over me like waves of ice cold water, and I wanted to curl into a ball and disappear into the floor. I wanted to be anywhere else than that room with my brainwashed castmate. Who I knew I was about to lose in favour for a fictional character.
Bunching my fists into my eyes, I struggled to my feet and forced myself to the wardrobe we share, where my Katie attire was packed inside. I felt disgusting, still wearing the sweats I'd slept in. When I twisted to Rory, I was meant to ask him if his head was hurting, or he felt sick. Despite knowing my castmate was a submissive doll, I still wanted to know. But when I turned to my castmate, Rory was still standing in the same spot. He was staring at something, and when I edged closer, holding my breath, I realised the pill was pinched between his thumb and index finger. The colour was darker, dyed to an almost purple shade with his saliva. Looking closer, his expression was no longer blank. Instead, there was the slightest glimmer of awareness in his eyes.
I held onto that with everything I had.
"Rory?" I choked on his name, and he flinched again, turning to face me. I knew then, when my castmate's gaze landed on me, that something was wrong.
His eyes were twitching, which seemed to affect his whole face, his cheeks wet with tears. A million emotions flashed across his expression, and he pressed two fingers to his right eye. When I said his name again with the gutter of my throat, his gaze found mine again, but Rory didn't look at me, not really. His lip curled and his eyes slitted with pain and frustration, but there was no glint of recognition igniting in warm browns. At least, it wasn't the teasing smirk and warm glint which was Rory. Instead, it was all Mac. Still twitching, as if he was fighting his character for his own mind, Rory dropped the pill onto the carpet, and crushed it with his foot, before turning to me.
And then something stabilised. My castmate, or whatever was left of him, the parts of him still fighting back, trashing the pill, was shoved deep into the crevices of his own mind, and his character was bleeding through. Exactly who James wanted him to be. There was the recognition coming to life in another's boy's eyes. Sixteen-year-old Mac who had been crushing on Katie Parker since middle school. Not twenty-year-old Rory, who swung the other way and would in fact rather eat his own tongue than look at me like that.
"Hey, what are you waiting for?" Rory cocked his head. I could see so much put-on emotions in that one stare. Longing for the girl he crushed on, as well as the pain of looking at her, knowing she was with another guy. I saw his obsession to keep his youth alive, and live every day as his last. It was Mac's character. As well as being a lovable idiot, he was determined to make every day count. I half wondered if all of that had been programmed into the chip, which was currently forcing my friend's brain into compliance.
"Get dressed, we have school."
Staring back at him, I had the sudden urge to punch him square in the face. Maybe that might bring Rory back.
But it was too risky. Instead of replying to him, I showered and dressed as normal. That morning, the breakfast was different. Instead of the usual breakfast sandwich, there was a chocolate croissant each, individually wrapped in expensive looking paper, and what looked like two Starbucks coffee's to go. My mouth watered. I hadn't had anything sweet in what felt like weeks, unless that meant mindlessly chewing on a cupcake during my mediocre break on set.
I ate the croissant so fast I barely tasted the explosion of chocolate in my mouth. Combined with the coffee, it was like heaven. When Rory grabbed his and ate it in two bites before gulping down the coffee, the taste went sour in my mouth, and I had to swallow several times to avoid the croissant shooting back up my throat.
The unexpected sugary treat for breakfast wasn't an accident. Each breakfast item had been perfectly wrapped, like a gift. It was like a last supper, at least for Rory.
The sickly feeling followed me to set. It was the same routine. We drove to set, and I sat with my side pressed to Noah, as if being in close proximity to him would somehow change his fate. I was rushed to hair and make up, and two girls who gossiped about a new Netflix show they had been watching, buzzed around me, transforming me into Katie.
My hair was curled into effortless blonde rings, since we were in the midst of a homecoming dance episode, and glitter speckled my cheeks. All the glitter in the world could not hide the dark shadows under my eyes, so they gave up and remodelled my face so I barely recognised myself. We were filming outside that day, and the fall breeze was warm, tickling my bare shoulders. I wore a dress most of the morning, and stuck mostly with Noah. I spoke Katie's lines, acting as best as I could, even when I felt like I was shattering apart inside. We had a five minute break, and I stumbled around the set, trying to find everyone, keeping them in my line of sight, my heart speeding up when James appeared with a crumpled script and his phone. "Robin, Noah and Rory." He spoke up, his voice like a beacon to my castmates. Their heads snapped up from where they had been awkwardly circling craft services, grabbing finger foods and vanilla puddings stacked on plates.
Noah joined me quickly, sliding to my side. I tried not to think about the times I'd been freaking out about shooting, and him grabbing and squeezing my hand. Part of me wanted to reach for his, search for some kind of inclination that he was still there. Doing that, though, would cause suspicion. Following Noah's lead, I copied his nonchalant expression, while secretly painting a picture of him in my head. I can write this because I remember him. I want to remember him. I can see him so vividly it hurts; hair so black against skin so white. Izzie, standing off to the side, standing in a light blue skater dress perfectly hugging her figure, strawberry curls flaying in blank eyes I missed.
Lana. Coffee skin and brown hair in two pigtails. Her character Jules was a drama-queen.
We started the scene normally. Katie was walking to school with Will, already in her homecoming dress, and Mac was supposed to run up to us, and ask Katie to the dance.
I said my lines as instructed, wondering if they were going to be programmed directly into my head when I finally went through stage 4.
My wandering thoughts were interrupted when James and Simon, our director let out a collective sigh. "Mr Gallagher!" The writer's expression was stony. He twisted around, glaring at Noah and I, as if we had personally wronged him. "Where the hell is Rory?!"
Turning my head in my castmate's direction, I failed to notice two things. Maybe it was because Noah, for the first time, had followed my gaze, instead of looking into oblivion.
The first thing I noticed was like a punch to the gut.
Rory's accent was back. It was broken, splintered in his tone like it didn't belong, but it was back.
The second thing I noticed was that once again, he was twitching, this time his whole face spasming, while his shuddering hand grazed his left eye.
My castmate was stumbling, staggering, but himself. I could tell from the look in his eyes. Terror. That's all I was seeing. Pure, unadulterated terror.
"What the fuck." Rory spat out. His fingers formed pincers, and he stabbed at his swollen looking eye, whimpering. "What the fuck did you do to me?!"
The crew went silent, and James, for the first time in weeks, looked speechless.
"You." Managing to find his feet, Rory marched over to the writer, until they were face to face. "You're a sick bastard, you know that, right?"
James blinked slowly. "Mr...Mr Gallagher," He spoke calmly. "You appear to be off your medication."
Rory looked taken aback. "You think I'm sick?!" He hissed. "You're the sick one for shoving a razor blade in my fucking eye! What the hell is your problem?" Twisting around, Rory seemed to notice the rest of us, and he went pale, the fight going from his face.
His fingers went back to his right eye. "You... you did something to us," he moaned softly, picking at his eyeball. "What did you... what did you do to us?"
"Delusions." James spoke up with a sad shake of his head. "It appears Rory is very sick. He must not have been taking his medication. Oh, son. We shouldn't have brought you to set. You should have said something."
Rory stared, blinking rapidly. "No." He said sharply, his head turning, gaze snapping to each crew member. "No, we're not...we're not sick..." he backed away, before grabbing Noah and shaking the boy, but Noah was like a doll, limp and expressionless.
"Noah?" Getting increasingly frustrated, Rory slapped the boy across the face, and I felt the sting. But Noah didn't even blink. "Hey." My castmate's voice grew hysterical, "Don't just stand there! Hey! Hey, you're with me, man. Right? Noah. Fucking hell, Noah!"
Noah didn't move, and the pain on Rory's face was enough to kick my brain into gear.
"What did you do to them?" Rory demanded. "Fuck, there's something...there's something in my eye!"
"Rory, please calm down," James spoke calmly. "Can someone please get a hold of him so he does not hurt himself. Thank you."
"No!" My cast mate grabbed me, his fingernails stabbing into the bare flesh of my arms. I had to fight back a cry. "Robin." He spoke softly. "Robs, you're... you're in there, right?"
I didn't speak. Couldn't speak. I could only watch as Rory was grabbed by a guard. He struggled violently, until a needle was thrust into his neck, and he went limp.
"My goodness." James shook his head when the guard scooped up the boy bridal style. "Connor, take Mr Gallagher home please. I think it's time for the next phase of his treatment."
No. My stomach slithered into my toes.
"All of them, in fact," James continued. "Keaton, Bright and Faraday too. Harley isn't quite ready."
I could only watch as the others were herded away, and a familiar hand grasped onto my arm. I turned to see the same guard who called me "Little Bird". He was grinning from ear to ear. His grip tightened. "Let's get you home, Little Robin," he hummed.
The ride back to the hotel was blurry. I think I was crying, uncaring about keeping character and staying hidden behind foggy eyes. When we arrived back to the hotel, my mind started whirring. The car ride had been half an hour, including a gas station stop, where the guard had grabbed a coffee for himself, and filled the car's tank. My legs were shaking when we entered the hotel lobby, but the guard didn't start heading upstairs.
"Come along, Little Bird." He hummed, gesturing for me to follow. He made a face, tapping his pockets. "Huh. I've lost my key-card again."
I followed him down to the cellar, keeping distance. I had to get away. I had to find the others, and get them the hell out of this place.
"Stay." the guard grunted, before slipping inside 305, where the key-cards were kept. His expression confused me, the waggling of eyebrows and quirking of lips.
Thankful for the distraction, I forced my legs down the same clinical white hallway. 309 was lit up this time, not illuminated in TV static, actual bright yellow light. From my angle, I saw nobody in the room. My whole body was rattling, and I couldn't breathe, but I forced myself to slip through the door. I was right. The room was empty. At least of James and his minions. This...this is where I'm going to struggle with writing. I'll try my best to tell you, but this is my third time writing this part.
Every time I try, I can't.
Because even if I block out the worst, I still see it.
Inside 309 were my castmates. The four of them were in the same state as the videos on Derek's laptop. Plastic masks covered their mouth and nose, but this time their eyes were wide open and unseeing. A monitor told me their vitals, and after struggling to free Noah's wrists from the armrest, I found myself at a futuristic looking control panel.
That's what the room was, I thought, my fingers grazing each button.
James and Derek’s secret project.
The big, red lever was hard to not notice. It was staring at me, and my hand was twitching. Seeing my friends like this, vulnerable, strapped down and controlled. It willed me to wrap my fingers around cool metal, and wrench the lever downwards.
When the sirens started, I knew what I'd done was wrong.
My castmate's vitals were screeching, and all four of them had gone into shock, gasping for breath, eyelids flickering, bodies convulsing.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't fucking know what to do, so I went to work undoing their restraints. But they weren't looking at me. Their eyes were skyward, and I tried not to notice a cerulean glitter around each iris.
A parasite, I thought, my hands going still.
When the blood started to run, crimson against pristine white, the alarms stopped.
James ran in, out of breath. But I didn't stop wrenching at Noah's restraints until I was grabbed and dragged back. "Robin?!" the writer let out a hissed breath. "I should have known!" Around him, men and women in white were dashing around, attempting to stabilize the others. "I should have known!" He cackled again “You are a brilliant actress, after all."
His teeth clamped down on my ear, and I let myself cry out. At the corner of my eye, there was so much blood. It ran in tiny rivers, startling claret painting them.
James turned my head forcefully. He was out of breath, and I realise the writer was as scared as me. "You better hope and pray you haven't just killed my best stars," he spat, before thundering orders at the crowd of white. "Get them cleaned up and initiate a second procedure."
"But sir," A young male doctor twisted around, and his expression was panicked. "They have just haemorrhaged. If we try again, we could-"
"I don't CARE!" The writer yelled. "Do it! You saw them, right? They were on 50% when that little brat shut it down. I'm confident it was just a flux due to the abrupt stop."
"Marley." The Doctor cleared his throat. "I wouldn't recommend-"
The Doctor didn't finish his sentence. All around me, vitals were crying out again, and all I was seeing was vacant eyes and blood.
So much blood.
Oh God, I killed them.
Before I could understand the alarms and panicked yelling, James took me upstairs and shoved me in my room.
His last words were for me to pray.
But that was days ago. All of those blank days that I can't fully remember. All I do remember is James bringing in sheets covered in blood. Part of me recognised them from the ones the others had been laying on in 309.
I screamed. I screamed until he slapped me and told me to get a hold of myself.
"A reminder." James had said, throwing the sheets onto Rory's bed. I asked if the others were okay, and he gave me a long, hard look.
He brought me food, and I ate it.
And I stopped thinking.
But maybe that was a good thing.
I shoved the sheets in the wardrobe. I couldn't look at them.
My days became one big confusing blur.
At one point, my phone disappeared. I found it though.
It's been charged.
Funny. I don't remember charging it.
I've spent most of my day screaming, banging on the door. It feels good to scream again. But nobody is listening to me. Nobody will tell me if my castmates are okay.
Earlier, something was shoved through my door. A clear plastic baggie with an epi-pen and a yellow sticky note. Robin. I can get you out of here. Take this early tomorrow morning, and I will do the rest. I know trust is not on the cards right now, but I'm your best bet. - A friend, if you'd like.
This brings me to the end of my post. I need your help. Why would someone give me insulin? Why the specific time? Should I take it, or is this another trick?
I'm not thinking straight right now, but do you think I really killed them? Am I the only one left?
If so, why is James still keeping me here? Am I going to die?
If this is my last post, and I'm taken and turned into Katie, or killed, I want you to know who I really am.
My name is [REDACTED]
The show is [REDACTED]
My castmates are: [REDACTED]
Finally, the bastard who did this to us is: [REDACTED]
My boyfriend(21m) and I(19f) have been together for more than 2 years. We bought a house together and have a dog together. We have been arguing for the last 2 1/2 days. A girls boyfriend texts me saying he thinks his girlfriend and my boyfriend are fucking and blah blah blah. He says dates that he knows for sure they hooked up and everything. Yet knowing my boyfriend, he doesn’t go out and some of those days he was with me.
When we got our first apartment together over a year ago, I asked him about this girl cause she added me on FB and Insta out of nowhere and they were mutual friends. He denied knowing her. So I dropped it. I will admit I am very emotional and I’m kinda the jealous type.
Well anyways, after that guy texted me. I asked my boyfriend if he know this girl again and he said no. Then I revealed what I know and of course he goes into his like “it was only friends, nothing more”
It’s two days later and we are still in it because I honestly I don’t know what to believe. He says the reason he lied is because he knew I would make a big deal out of him being friends with her. He says he’s sorry and would never purposely risk our house and our relationship like that.
Then this fight went into why he thinks I would react to much. Saying he can’t tell me his feelings because “it’s a trap” and I use it against him in the future. Now that has got me all messed up, because I have not once realized that in our relationship.
Now honestly I am thinking why even be in this relationship if it is like that? What kind of relationship am I in if my partner can’t honestly tell me his feelings. But I don’t want to leave him, cause he has saved me in so many ways and I see him as my soul mate. He says he doesn’t want to leave me. But I’m so conflicted and confused.. I just don’t even know what the next steps to take
There has been other red flags about him talking to other people early in our relationship but hasn’t been anything huge. We always talked about it and moved on.
I’m sorry this post is a mess, literally a representation of my head. Thank you in advance for any advice.
We discovered yellow jackets (German yellow jackets, I believe) were getting into the house this summer via the outside spigot. They’ve been making their way upstairs from the basement a few at a time. Now that it’s October, they seem to be coming up into the warm house more and more, a dozen or more a day.
I figured we’d have to put up with it til we get a good freeze, but today I’ve killed what look like multiple queens – and even two mating pairs. Do I have a super colony in my wall?! Is it normal to have bees mating in fall, or to have multiple pairs copulating at once? I’m concerned we have a bigger problem on our hands than anticipated!
I got my chow chow puppy yesterday and he went in the grass for the first 8 weeks of his life and he spent a lot of time in the grass with his litter mates as well. When I got home with him, he immediately pooped in the grass which I was happy with and he went to pee there as well. Later during the day though, he peed in the carpet right after I had taken him out 5 minutes ago. During the night he went out once at 4 and then at 7 he was barking and I let him out when he was calm and then he just started playing in the grass again instead of going potty. When I took him back in, he started barking up a storm and after 10 minutes, I smelled something funny only to find out he had pooped in his crate..., I sanitized everything and took him out again and then he decided not to poop or pee... again. This happened multiple times today where I would take him out and he wouldn’t go potty and he had multiple accidents in the house. I generally try to take him out every 1 hour and when he doesn’t do anything for 5-10 minutes, I take him back in and try again. He just plops on the grass and gets playful when outside and I’ll have to pick him back up. It’s just so frustrating because I’ve owned chows before and they have been so easy to potty train.
I have work to do so what better way to get started than by writing a post about apex.
Here are some tips that really helped me win more games and especially have more fun in solo queue.
1) Find the character and play style that works for you.
I main Bangalore because I like to play a high risk / high mobility style.
Bangs smoke is great for escape and breaking up the map.
Plus if you have the infrared scope you can use it tactically to get a massive advantage shooting people through the smoke.
Also her ulti creates a ton of chaos which confuses players and splits up teams.
I like to ulti and immediately jump in in the split second the player is trying to get their bearing and see what’s going on.
So find the character that works for your style.
And then really play them a lot to learn their kit to the fullest.
For example, with bang you can actually kill people with her smoke as it does like 11 damage if it blows up right next to them.
2) Know your lobby and adjust One of the big lessons I’ve learned coming to Apex from traditional shooters like cs and (less so, Overwatch).
Is that the type of game you play depends a lot on the lobby you are in.
If you are in a hard lobby for you, which you can tell from your team mates and champ squad.
Then it’s best not to drop in high traffic areas.
Even if you are good, if you drop and there are 5 other squads dropping next to you, the chances of dying is very high.
At the same time, if it’s an easy lobby, dropping in hot zones / high traffic is a great way to rack a lot of kills.
Newbies don’t are always late to drop and don’t know all the loot spots.
So once you know them, you can get a huge advantage.
For hard lobbies, if you want to win, drop somewhere safe-ish and play on the periphery. Don’t hard engage into multiple squads.
3) Apex is about mechanics but also tactics.
The biggest mistake I see newbies make is usually tactical.
Imagine this scenario.
If somehow you can get behind another player while they run in a straight line at point blank range , you’ll be able to unload like 60-120 damage into them before they can even properly react.
And even then, they have to turn and lock on to you, all while you are shooting them.
And now the fight starts and you have a 2x advantage over them.
That’s the power of “tactics” or positioning.
You always want to think about how to give yourself an advantage and how to put your enemy at a disadvantage.
The most important thing is usually high ground.
High ground gives you a huge advantage as it makes you harder to shoot and makes it very easy to duck into cover to heal.
While the person on the low ground has to look ahead and up. And they are fully visible and cannot “go into cover” unless they find an object or building.
So whenever you are moving ahead on a target, or in general, move along high ground.
Identify the high ground areas on the map and tactically move there.
In general, avoid engaging enemies in a bad position.
Given equal skills or even slight advantage to you, you can still lose badly if you have a tactical disadvantage.
4) Watch your back
3rd parties are a big deal in apex. Or even being flanked by one squad mate can spell doom.
So it’s always best to try and fight with your back against a wall.
This way you aren’t “in the middle” of the battlefield. And you can’t easily be flanked or third parties from behind.
Also if your back is against the wall (or the ring or terrain or even a low traffic area) then your enemy likely has their back “open”.
So 3rd parties will come from their side and help you win the fight.
You can even wait for the 3rd party to engage your enemy, and shorty move in and finish both squads.
Both high ground and “back against the wall” are perhaps the most important tactical concepts.
5) Don’t go Rambo all the time If you watch top players, you see they are always going in and out of the fight.
They don’t regularly go “balls deep”.
Because in Apex you have healing and shields.
You can soft engage and see if you get a favorable trade, then take a step back and heal.
You can keep doing that until you find an opening and then you go for the kill.
Be careful about wasting ammo or resources.
If you find you are losing the attrition war, then reposition or retreat to a different zone.
6) Apex is a war not a battle. If you run into a powerful squad, you don’t have to fight them.
Running away is an option.
This isn’t an honorable samurai duel.
For difficult opponents I like to stalk them and pounce on them when they are hurting.
Good players can easily win 1v1.
But even the best players can die in 1v2 and 1v3 squad situations.
7) Work on your aim I started to work on my aim a lot when I played a lot of Overwatch and I’ve improved it even more with Apex.
There are a lot of guides and tips out there but here is what I recommend.
First be sure you have a great setup.
With good mouse and big pad.
Also clear the space on your desk so you can comfortably move.
And sit up in an “active” (not slouched) position so you can properly focus and react.
I just got the CoolMaster mouse MM710 and it’s amazing. Super light and snappy.
Lower sensitivity is almost always better.
It takes a lot of practice to adjust though.
Some tips that have helped me improve my aim.
I made a rule for myself to only burst fire guns when my aim is on target.
I noticed I was praying and spraying too much.
And having to aim burst, re-aim, burst, re-aim, burst etc.
Really forced me to break the habit of aim, spray and pray.
I noticed as I did that, my bursts become longer and longer until I could start to spray while continuously readjusting my aim and deal with recoil.
8) Don’t be intimidated. I’m reminded of that scene from game of thrones where the sword man is training Arya and he tells her how her enemies are simply balloons filled with liquid.
And to win, all you have to do is poke a hole in them.
It’s the same with apex.
I used to be intimidated by good players because they can move so well and land shots consistently on me.
It would trigger a fear response and I’d panic a bit.
But remember, fear is the mind killer.
Even though they are dangerous, all you have to do is kill them and the danger stops.
They, just like you, have only 200hp Max.
So with good players you have to focus very hard to “killing them”.
It’s almost like a sprint.
What I mean is, a big part of it isn’t just about who is better.
It’s also about speed.
The person who starts shooting faster by 500ms can easily win in such a duel.
So when you go against those players , you have to forget everything.
Forget your safety and “playing safe”.
You literally have to put it all on the line and go balls deep. That’s the only way you have a chance of winning.
It’s like that movie Gateca where they are swimming across the lake.
And one of them can’t make it and turns back.
The other keeps going and finishes.
When he asks him how did you make it?
He said... I left nothing for the way back.
It was do or die.
That’s what you need to do when you find yourself in a close quarter duel against a good player.
Do or die. No defense or safety.
Anyway, just some random tips.
Now that I’ve got that out of my system I can get some real work done.
Hope at least it can give you some ideas or help some beginners.
Hey! I start this post saying that i'm not 100% sure that this girl even exist, because i didnt met her physically yet... but i'll tell here my mystical non-physical experiences with the little hope that she exists and recognize me by reading this :)
So, In June, my spiritual awakening started. But why? How? And what triggered it? Well, I think what happened that night totally blew my awakening. That night, i was really calm and i was having a walking in the nature, when suddenly sensed this "thing" that i labeled as my soul mate, i remember that i was really happy about this because that was something i've always felt, this time it was only cleaner and stronger, I remember yelling at my sister "IT'S MY SOUL TWIN, I FELT IT, SHE'S COMING!!". I've always been an intuitive person, so I knew something good was about to happen.
1-2 weeks later (always in June) I saw a suggested video on youtube about twin flames. I was like "Twin flames?? What a cool thing, what are they?" so i started reading a lot about twin flames and asked my angels if that "thing" that i was sensing was actually my twin flame and that day i had a waking dream/vision (that's how my angels communicate with me due to my psychic abilites so i'm sure it was not just my mind or other entities). In that vision i saw angels number everywhere and then met this tall, skinny and blode-hair girl. I can't forget that feeling... looking her in the eyes... i think it's something like "the best feeling of my whole life", the glory, love joy was so deep... I remember that from that day on I could feel her presence when I was happy.
So... lately i'm kind of "broken", i'm healing my emotional wounds that emerged because of the awakening, and I haven't been able to feel her presence for 2 months. Anyway, Did you have a similar experience with your tf before meeting? Is that a way to communicate with her? Thanks so much for reading! :)
Heyyo! So I'm looking for Appa and beach from our game bc we didn't get to the point where we shared our social media with each other, not bc we didn't want to, but due to the server's shut down. Please, please guys, just be here! Our room's name was qkvnlq, also we were on North American server. Also Black, if you're here.:) I hope you know when you told me " I hope your grandma get's COVID and dies" you just prove that you're a ***** moron, also this is the situation with one of our crewmates. So when you tried to hurt me with these absolutely disrespectful and disgusting words you just broke our mate's heart again. So **** you and I hope karma say hi to you very very soon. This is a h3ckin game, but you wished somebody's death, congrats to you, I hope you're satisfied with yourself. All of them people like you should be banned from the game, and to be honest... From everywhere.
So thank you for reading my post, I hope I'll find my mates and will have a chance to play with them again!
I've had strange audio glitches (opening a box randomly made a the sound of hit marker), suddenly exploded for no reason, lighting glitches (everything went super dark then back to normal) and just had a full system crash-lock where I couldn't do anything except restart my PC.
In the 3 games I've played, I've also heard team-mates mention massive lag spikes, drop-outs, similar audio and lighting glitches, with one player on PS4 having his entire controller mapping go nuts on starting a new round (ie. fire was clicking left stick, run was circle, jump was R1, aim inverted, etc).
There's always going to be a few bugs/glitches with a new update but I gotta say, these are some of the strangest I've ever seen (and so many at once?).
P.S Still a super fun update!
Edit 1: 2nd full crash
Edit 2: Losing team mates to drop outs at start of match. Also, watch out for those box jump scares!
Hey everyone, I built a villager breeder in my survival world but the mating fails everytime AFTER being successfull one time.
The two "main" villagers have enough food (they are supplied by a farmer villager), have 4 beds (2 for them and 2 so that they mate) and the hearts appear only to end in thunder clouds. The baby villagers fall on a hopper 8 blocks below the beds. I am honestly at a loss, can anyone help me?
I am playing on 1.16.3.
I’ve got some objectives to complete, e.g OTW Jota. Anyone know if I play co-op using my mates team can I complete objectives whilst doing it or can I only compete co-op specific objectives. For example if I need to score 10 finesse goals for Jota can I do that with a friend? Do I have to be the one to score? Just wondering before grinding him out, any help would be great.
I've just received the news that my grandfather is dying after loosing my grandmother (they were separated) 8 days ago. I'm in isolation at university as one of my flat mates tested positive for covid. I'm completely a symptomatic and wanted to get tested and go and be with my family but they said I have to stay in isolation with my flat. I'm so fucking suicidal and anxious, there's almost no genuinely good mental health support for those in isolation. All I want is to go on a walk around the woods and think about things, I feel so claustrophobic cooped up in my tiny bedroom alone and constantly on the verge of a panic attack. I just need to get out. I know this is against the law but do you think I should take my chances and go on a walk or force myself to stay inside.
I'm gay, so I haven't been in a straight relationship, but this is what I see so far
I was born in pakistan, a lot of women their are forced to be married so men can have the power in society. Women there are married to men who are older, taller, richer etc then they are. My mom is 4'11 and my dad is 6'1, im 5'11, my dad is also a doctor. My parents are now divorce. Some places they starve women, not for religion but to make them small so men can maintain power. Their kids can see how their mother is smaller and the dad is big, so they can internalize that. The sons usually inherited their fathers power and repeat the same dynamic in their own marriages.
Now I live in north America, and the same thing is happening in a abstract sort of sense. Like men are usually in bigger positions. I think it has to do with dating since being big is consider attractive for men, it makes men tend to go to higher positions, not only does it attract mates but also it makes you feel more like a man. You know, words like micro penis, small, short, etc are usually words to insult or emasculate men. Being small is seen as bad, so men go for big
Majority of relationship are men who are older taller, richer then women. That is stastically true. So if being big is seen as attractive in most men and most women haven't dated smaller men, that pressures men into being dominant in society.
That's just my thought process. What do you think, does dating effect gender inequality? I'm just wondering if anyone else has anything to add or prove my thought process wrong.
Honestly I have a lot of respect for couples where the man is shorter, women makes more income, those couple really believe in progression so they can show their kids that men can be small or women can be
Ok this is a long story, writing on a phone so it's likely all over the place but bear with me:
Just had a random but in a way pleasant experience at a bus stop, in Sweden but I'm English so I'll write everything in English. When I got there there was a guy chatting on the phone with someone, then I overheard him say something about how he had to go because there's a girl here...(and then didn't hear the rest).
I immediately had my guard up cause he looked a bit blokey and I'm on my own and it's dark etc. After a minute or 2 he asks "Do you like to pick mushrooms?"
I was like "What?" Haha. He then said like "You look like the kind of person who might enjoy nature, I've been dating around recently and just find the whole restaurant/ bar thing boring. I've been wanting to me more outdoorsy."
Then I was like oh dunno etc I've never really done it but I mean go for it.
He then asked if I'd like to pick mushrooms with him lmao. I said sorry, but I have a partner. I'm sure there are lot's of girls who'd like to pick mushrooms with you though lmao.
He wasn't weird at all about it and was just like "damn, oh well!" Hahaha I told him good luck and that was it.
A bit later on a person he clearly knew showed up, also looked super blokey, and he was like "Alright mate! Where you been?" The guy replied that he'd been at some kind of yoga club.
I was just like LOL these 2 blokey geezers wanting to do yoga and pick mushrooms, quite wholesome really!
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